Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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