also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
