Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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