hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it glows. i had to have it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i now understand why vodka
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
