Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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