Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
