she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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