Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
