hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
