i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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