So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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