at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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