he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
