I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize
