she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
