is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
