It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
