dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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