TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
