i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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