his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
