I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
