so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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