so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
