How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
