You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
