she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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