If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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