HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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