apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Bring me that man meat
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
