just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
