rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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