It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
