My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize