I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
