She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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