i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My ass is underappreciated
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
