Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you never un-have a 4some
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
