You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
