She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
