we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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