Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
