she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
