should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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