Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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