Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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