i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
