So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
