so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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