OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
