I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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