He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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