my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
