my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
