Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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