Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
