are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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