Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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