It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
